She's back!!!!!!!!

Hi Friends,

Yes, that's right...mom is back. I won't even tell you about the beginning of my day, because in comparison to my afternoon, it is completely insignificant. Pam and I were together at the hospital hanging out with mom for a couple hours, and then Pam left to do some errands while I stayed behind. I got out the lotion, took off her arm brace and began my daily massage, and was talking to her as I usually do. She was looking at me as I spoke to her, and I asked her if she was enjoying the massage. She nodded her head yes, which of course made me happy, but she'd done that before here and there. Then I asked her if she knew how much I loved her. She nodded. I started getting a little excited, and so I asked her if she understood what I was saying to her. Again a nod. Then I started to freak out...I asked her if she knew who I was...she nodded yes. I asked her if she knew where she was...yes. "Do you want me to tell you what happened?" She shook her head no, and I tried to contain myself as I told her that was completely fine and that it didn't matter right now, that the only thing that mattered was that she was okay. Not only was this the first "no" I'd gotten from her, but this was the first time I had sustained any kind of attention from her and knew without a doubt in my mind that we were communicating with each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From that moment on and for the rest of the evening, she was there, "awake," answering questions with a nod or a shake of her head, really holding my hand in a definitely purposeful way, and following many of my commands. I didn't try to make her do anything stupid and pointless like give me a thumbs up, but when I asked her if her mouth was dry and whether she wanted me to moisten it, she nodded yes and when I came over with the wet mouth swab and asked her to open her mouth, for the first time she did instead of clamping her mouth shut!!!! She still appears really uncomfortable in the bed, and still kicks her legs quite a bit and shifts around, but she denies being in pain (she actually DENIES something!!) and also shakes her head "no" when I ask her if there is anything I can do for her.

A couple times, she tried desperately to say something, but I was unable to understand what she was trying to communicate. I had had the nurse page the doctor to let him know about this HUGE change and progress, and when the trauma resident came, he told me that the speech therapist had been by earlier in the day (before she "woke up") but that he would put another order in for them to visit tomorrow morning. I also wanted him to be sure and notify her physiatrist who has been evaluating her and recommending her for RIC - this progress is SURE to change things considerably in terms of RIC's willingness to accept her!!! And if he hasn't been notified by tomorrow to come in and reevaluate her, I will call him myself, damnit!!

I can't describe to you the feeling I got when we had our first "conversation." I'm getting my mom back, slowly but surely, and that is the absolute most amazing feeling I have ever had. I know there is still a long road ahead, but this is such a HUGE thing, and I absolutely couldn't be prouder of her than I am now...until the next bit of progress, that is. :) Of course, now leaving her side is even harder for me because she KNOWS and I feel so bad...but tonight she was SOO tired from her major progress today, and I think she was trying to stay awake while I was there, so I think it was good that I left when I did so that she could rest. And I know that tomorrow, she might be too tired to continue the progress, and that's okay...she would deserve a day of rest. But she's tough, so I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if she's sitting up and says "Hi Amanda!" when I walk in the door tomorrow. :)

Until tomorrow, friends. Be thankful, and know that all your love and prayers are working and still very much appreciated.