True Thanksgiving
Hi Friends,
Well, today started out terribly, and I thought for sure it would be an awful day all around. I left my ID badge in the apartment, stood in the cold waiting for the bus, and remembered I'd left it right as I saw the bus coming in the distance, so I ended up missing it and having to take a cab. Then I left my badge in the locker room, and couldn't back in to get it without it! Work for the first half of the day was NOT like a holiday at all, and I feared I wouldn't be able to leave at 12:30pm to go see mom and eat turkey with her...it was that bad. There were too many babies for too few staff. But somehow, my awesome coworkers held down the fort (thanks especially to Elvia) and I was able to go over...of course I had a meltdown when I thought I wouldn't be able to, and after I got ahold of myself I felt very stupid and embarrassed, but no one made me feel bad about it, of course...they're that awesome.
Lilly had already arrived when I got to RIC (yay!), along with tons of other people, family of other patients, and it was very busy and festive. There was a TON of food, and we were able to eat altogether. I think mom was a bit overstimulated by all those people (I'm talkin' a packed house, and for awhile there weren't enough chairs for me even to sit down!), so she had trouble focusing on eating. But she did chat with us and others, she took part in a trivia game they were going from table to table doing (even though she didn't get the right answer...no one did...the question was "Illinois is the largest producer in the US of a. corn, b. sweet potatoes, c. pumpkins or d. something else and she guessed sweet potatoes...the answer was pumpkins) and won a participation prize of a $10 gift card to Walgreen's, and did manage to eat some turkey. :) The three of us even tried to go through what we were thankful for this year, per tradition, and it was hilarious because mom kept indicating her mashed potatoes as something she was thankful for, and I said "Well, if you're so thankful for them, you ought to eat them!" I am thankful to have her to celebrate with, even under the circumstances, and that I must remember. It could have been a VERY different Thanksgiving holiday...she may not have been here to even eat any turkey at all...so despite not having her be able to cook, she is here with us, she is doing well and making progress, and next year we'll be back at home and she'll be in the kitchen, I just know it.
I felt awful having to leave to go back to work, wanting to spend more time with mom and Lilly, but I couldn't leave my girls hanging. It actually started to get much better at work in the afternoon, and everyone got lunch breaks (some were late and didn't happen all in one piece, but they happened). One of the docs we work with had made a turkey, and we all brought a piece of the Thanksgiving meal, and I think I ate three or four helpings of food today...my stomach is NOT happy with me this evening...I ate TOO much, more than I have in a week combined, probably. I even got to send a bunch of people home early for the holiday, and for once the poor night shift wasn't scrambling to cover all the patients. I hope it stays okay for us tomorrow.
After work, I headed back over to RIC, and when I first arrived, mom was asleep but woke up as I was taking my coat off. She was disoriented and said she felt weird...she felt "blurry" according to her...I think she was just groggy and half asleep, and she seemed to feel better in a few minutes. I was talking to her about the meal we'd had earlier, and how it was so nice that Lilly was able to be there, and she didn't remember it...that was a little discouraging, but I described it to her and what we ate and then she seemed to get some recollection back...she kept saying "why don't I remember that? Don't tell anyone!" (meaning Lilly I think, because she didn't want her to feel bad). But then she seemed to start to remember a bit. Shortly after I arrived, the family back east called, and we put them on speaker phone so we could both talk, and they passed the phone from person to person. Now, I can ask Betty, who talks to mom on the phone everyday, but I think mom's speech was clearer tonight than it has been...maybe I was just projecting and wanted a Thanksgiving miracle, but I swear she got more of the right words out, made more complete sentences that made sense, and just in general was more with it. I told her so, when we got off the phone...I said "Mom, your words seem to be coming out so much better tonight than they have been!" and she said "It's because I'm getting better!" Well, okay then! :) Really, I haven't seen her that completely with it and making mostly sensical conversation yet...I mean, it was by no means perfect, and certainly there were words that came out wrong and didn't make sense, but a larger percentage of them were right and did. I was impressed, and it skyrocketed me out of my holiday depression and into hope, and the true meaning of Thanksgiving.
It's all relative, you know...we make of what we have how we will, and so far I think we're making it just fine. And so I give thanks for all of you who have been helping me cope and get through with your love and encouragement and humor; I give thanks for family and friends that, though far away, are sending love and any aid they can; I give thanks for my continued health and ability to work and be strong enough (so far) to make the decisions I have to make; I give thanks for the great fortune of having a mom who is my best friend and the fact that that has not changed no matter what happened; I give thanks for my sweet kitties who I come home to so I am not all alone in the Homestead; I give thanks for too many things to recount here without boring you...but when you really sit down and count your blessings, you realize how much you do have and how rich your life is despite the setbacks and dark days that swoop in.
That is my hope for all of you...give thanks for what you have, and do not pity someone else what they don't have...I don't want to be one of those families who is referred to when someone says "Well, it could be worse, aren't we lucky that didn't happen to us" and I strive to avoid that trap as well now that I know what it feels like. Well yes, you are lucky that is true...but do not lay your fortune on someone else's misfortune. Just look to the positives as they pertain to you, and not what could have happened and did happen to someone else. I hope I'm making sense.
Okay, enough waxing philisophical. Clearly, the Ambien has kicked in. I truly hope everyone was able to Give Thanks on this holiday, and to spend time with the ones you love...and of course, stuff yourself silly with food because let's face it, that's also what Thanksgiving is all about. :) As I was leaving to go home mom said "I wish to Christ you didn't have to go!" That's an old phrase she's pulling out of the hat now...hadn't heard that one yet, but it's an oldie. She also told me she "loves me so friggin' much, it's not funny." Another old phrase of hers, and of course we both cracked up like crazy. She's hilarious, this one. I love her so much. Thanks to her for leaving my Thanksgiving on a wonderful note, and I will now enter the official holiday season in good spirits. So should you all. Peace and joy to you. And thank you.
Well, today started out terribly, and I thought for sure it would be an awful day all around. I left my ID badge in the apartment, stood in the cold waiting for the bus, and remembered I'd left it right as I saw the bus coming in the distance, so I ended up missing it and having to take a cab. Then I left my badge in the locker room, and couldn't back in to get it without it! Work for the first half of the day was NOT like a holiday at all, and I feared I wouldn't be able to leave at 12:30pm to go see mom and eat turkey with her...it was that bad. There were too many babies for too few staff. But somehow, my awesome coworkers held down the fort (thanks especially to Elvia) and I was able to go over...of course I had a meltdown when I thought I wouldn't be able to, and after I got ahold of myself I felt very stupid and embarrassed, but no one made me feel bad about it, of course...they're that awesome.
Lilly had already arrived when I got to RIC (yay!), along with tons of other people, family of other patients, and it was very busy and festive. There was a TON of food, and we were able to eat altogether. I think mom was a bit overstimulated by all those people (I'm talkin' a packed house, and for awhile there weren't enough chairs for me even to sit down!), so she had trouble focusing on eating. But she did chat with us and others, she took part in a trivia game they were going from table to table doing (even though she didn't get the right answer...no one did...the question was "Illinois is the largest producer in the US of a. corn, b. sweet potatoes, c. pumpkins or d. something else and she guessed sweet potatoes...the answer was pumpkins) and won a participation prize of a $10 gift card to Walgreen's, and did manage to eat some turkey. :) The three of us even tried to go through what we were thankful for this year, per tradition, and it was hilarious because mom kept indicating her mashed potatoes as something she was thankful for, and I said "Well, if you're so thankful for them, you ought to eat them!" I am thankful to have her to celebrate with, even under the circumstances, and that I must remember. It could have been a VERY different Thanksgiving holiday...she may not have been here to even eat any turkey at all...so despite not having her be able to cook, she is here with us, she is doing well and making progress, and next year we'll be back at home and she'll be in the kitchen, I just know it.
I felt awful having to leave to go back to work, wanting to spend more time with mom and Lilly, but I couldn't leave my girls hanging. It actually started to get much better at work in the afternoon, and everyone got lunch breaks (some were late and didn't happen all in one piece, but they happened). One of the docs we work with had made a turkey, and we all brought a piece of the Thanksgiving meal, and I think I ate three or four helpings of food today...my stomach is NOT happy with me this evening...I ate TOO much, more than I have in a week combined, probably. I even got to send a bunch of people home early for the holiday, and for once the poor night shift wasn't scrambling to cover all the patients. I hope it stays okay for us tomorrow.
After work, I headed back over to RIC, and when I first arrived, mom was asleep but woke up as I was taking my coat off. She was disoriented and said she felt weird...she felt "blurry" according to her...I think she was just groggy and half asleep, and she seemed to feel better in a few minutes. I was talking to her about the meal we'd had earlier, and how it was so nice that Lilly was able to be there, and she didn't remember it...that was a little discouraging, but I described it to her and what we ate and then she seemed to get some recollection back...she kept saying "why don't I remember that? Don't tell anyone!" (meaning Lilly I think, because she didn't want her to feel bad). But then she seemed to start to remember a bit. Shortly after I arrived, the family back east called, and we put them on speaker phone so we could both talk, and they passed the phone from person to person. Now, I can ask Betty, who talks to mom on the phone everyday, but I think mom's speech was clearer tonight than it has been...maybe I was just projecting and wanted a Thanksgiving miracle, but I swear she got more of the right words out, made more complete sentences that made sense, and just in general was more with it. I told her so, when we got off the phone...I said "Mom, your words seem to be coming out so much better tonight than they have been!" and she said "It's because I'm getting better!" Well, okay then! :) Really, I haven't seen her that completely with it and making mostly sensical conversation yet...I mean, it was by no means perfect, and certainly there were words that came out wrong and didn't make sense, but a larger percentage of them were right and did. I was impressed, and it skyrocketed me out of my holiday depression and into hope, and the true meaning of Thanksgiving.
It's all relative, you know...we make of what we have how we will, and so far I think we're making it just fine. And so I give thanks for all of you who have been helping me cope and get through with your love and encouragement and humor; I give thanks for family and friends that, though far away, are sending love and any aid they can; I give thanks for my continued health and ability to work and be strong enough (so far) to make the decisions I have to make; I give thanks for the great fortune of having a mom who is my best friend and the fact that that has not changed no matter what happened; I give thanks for my sweet kitties who I come home to so I am not all alone in the Homestead; I give thanks for too many things to recount here without boring you...but when you really sit down and count your blessings, you realize how much you do have and how rich your life is despite the setbacks and dark days that swoop in.
That is my hope for all of you...give thanks for what you have, and do not pity someone else what they don't have...I don't want to be one of those families who is referred to when someone says "Well, it could be worse, aren't we lucky that didn't happen to us" and I strive to avoid that trap as well now that I know what it feels like. Well yes, you are lucky that is true...but do not lay your fortune on someone else's misfortune. Just look to the positives as they pertain to you, and not what could have happened and did happen to someone else. I hope I'm making sense.
Okay, enough waxing philisophical. Clearly, the Ambien has kicked in. I truly hope everyone was able to Give Thanks on this holiday, and to spend time with the ones you love...and of course, stuff yourself silly with food because let's face it, that's also what Thanksgiving is all about. :) As I was leaving to go home mom said "I wish to Christ you didn't have to go!" That's an old phrase she's pulling out of the hat now...hadn't heard that one yet, but it's an oldie. She also told me she "loves me so friggin' much, it's not funny." Another old phrase of hers, and of course we both cracked up like crazy. She's hilarious, this one. I love her so much. Thanks to her for leaving my Thanksgiving on a wonderful note, and I will now enter the official holiday season in good spirits. So should you all. Peace and joy to you. And thank you.
Comments
I am so glad that you were able to visit with your Mom and Lily on Thanksgiving. Also, I was happy to hear that work got better as the day went on. We need a break! Happy Thanksgiving to you and Bev!
Love, Jillian