A little scare
Hi Friends,
Well, today was eventful to say the least. Let me preface this by saying that everything is okay, so don't go getting all worried...I did almost have a heart attack today, though. But let me start at the very beginning.
Pam picked me up today from home and we stopped at Kinko's so I could fax a couple documents, and then picked up some really healthy lunch at Taco Bell. On the drive to RIC, I got a phone call from mom's neuropsychologist Dr. Ericson, and we did a conference call with mom there so he could go over the results of her neuropsych testing which was done on Friday. He presented a lot of information, and though I understood it all as he was talking, it was a lot to take in and I asked for a written copy of his report so I could mull over it on my own. There were lots of different areas tested (nonverbal intelligence, audio comprehension, reading comprehension, concentration, memory, etc), and I'll sum it up by saying that she did somewhat well on some of the areas and very poorly on a lot more areas. However, I'm trying not to freak out about this, and to "take it with a grain of salt" as my own neuropsychologist told me at my appointment this evening...this testing is one snapshot of one moment in time at a very early point in mom's recovery, and is used as a sort of baseline from which she can progress. Even in his report, Dr. Ericson said he sees room for improvement, and that he recommends this testing be repeated in several months to be able to measure progress. Sigh.
Pam and I arrived right after lunch to hang out with mom, and she was of course very happy to see us, as usual. When we asked her about lunch, she said it wasn't that great, so we gave her a banana to eat, and she did (although with some protesting toward the end). Then it was time for physical therapy with Joe...it started out great and just fine, but toward the end of the session, she was getting really tired, and we were on the stairs just coming back down, and she cried out and grimaced in pain and sat down on the stair. Her right arm was hurting, she said, and we all noticed she was holding it in a protective position and wasn't really using it. She wouldn't hold onto the railing with that hand, and needed much more help than usual to get down the stairs because her right leg was weaker too. I had sort of noticed this over the weekend (in hind sight), but watched it carefully and she never completely stopped using it, so I wasn't thinking much of it. The doctor came and did an exam, and then one of the other docs came and checked her out, too...they didn't seem TOO concerned because she was complaining of pain in addition to the weakness, and the rest of her neuro exam (pupils, facial muscles, reflexes, etc) was normal. Just in case, they ordered a stat head CT scan, and so we went over on a field trip to Northwestern Memorial (through the underground tunnel) for that. Mom was kind of scared and freaking out since everyone was crowded around her and evaluating her and she could tell we thought something was wrong. She was really nervous going over for the head CT, and it was hard to tell whether she thought she was going for her surgery or something worse or what. Pam and I were both able to go with her, and we tried to keep her spirits up and reassure her. It didn't take long, and once she realized it was no big deal, she was back to her hilarious, joking self.
After all that, I asked her how her arm was feeling while we were waiting for her to be transported back to RIC, and asked her to squeeze my hand and make a fist and wiggle her fingers, and she could do it all just fine! We joked to her that she was being a faker...hopefully this was not the case just to get a rise out of everyone, but she seemed genuinely scared and concerned as well! The head CT scan came back totally fine, and the doctor came in to reexamine her and saw that she was better...they think it may be a musculoskeletal issue in her shoulder (rotator cuff...frozen shoulder?) exacerbated by fatigue or something, so will continue to check her out. But she seemed better. What a drama queen. :)
I had to leave while mom was still eating dinner to get to my psych appointment, but Pam stayed with her and said as soon as I left, she started eating her mac and cheese like it was the best thing she's ever tasted...but she wouldn't eat it while I was there...what a nut! I'm happy as long as she eats at all, but I hope my presence is not for some reason a hindrance to her doing so...if so, I'll stay away! Still didn't want to eat her veggies, though, naughty woman.
My appointment was great as usual, I came out feeling a lot better than when I went in...she's good at talking me down, and making me feel better about myself....we're beginning now to work through some bigger issues, like guilt. Ah guilt...it's the albatross around my neck right now, but I'm going to work on it...she tells me I need to start doing things for myself regularly, so I guess I'll need to try hard at that one...I know, I know, I can't take care of mom if I don't take care of myself...easier said than done, though.
When I returned, mom and Pam were just hanging out in the room watching TV, and a few minutes later, someone popped their head in the room to ask if we'd like carollers to come and sing for us...we said OF COURSE!! So a few minutes later, about 15 men and women dressed up in old-fashioned costumes (very festive) filed into mom's room and asked if we had any requests. I know mom's favorite carol is "Silent Night," and said as much. They sang it absolutely beautifully, all a cappella, and we LOVED it...mom and I both had tears streaming down...I mostly because I knew how much mom was loving it, and out of all this crap that has happened to us, I want to make sure she has things that bring her joy in her life. And this brought her joy, it was plain on her face...she even sang along partway. I wished they could have stayed to sing more, they were wonderful and I know mom would have simply adored a little personal concert, especially so she could stare at all the constumed singers. But we didn't want to monopolize them when other patients might enjoy them as well. Needless to say, I was so grateful to this organization for doing this...you never know how your volunteer work affects the patients, and it meant so much to mom and I.
Shortly after the beautiful song, Pam and I said goodnight to mom, who was in high spirits following the music. Pam and Jillian plan to stop for a visit tomorrow as I have to work, which will be nice and mom is looking forward to it. Pam and I went to dinner at a Cuban restaurant, and now I'm going to bed. So, an eventful day to be sure, but I think I handled it with less anxiety and annoying freakishness than I could have...ask Pam for a definitive answer on that one since she had to deal with me mostly. I was surprisingly calm and collected...almost asked myself who I was...and no, no medications were involved. Maybe I really am getting the hang of this whole thing...almost. Almost. Peace and love to all, keep praying and loving.
Well, today was eventful to say the least. Let me preface this by saying that everything is okay, so don't go getting all worried...I did almost have a heart attack today, though. But let me start at the very beginning.
Pam picked me up today from home and we stopped at Kinko's so I could fax a couple documents, and then picked up some really healthy lunch at Taco Bell. On the drive to RIC, I got a phone call from mom's neuropsychologist Dr. Ericson, and we did a conference call with mom there so he could go over the results of her neuropsych testing which was done on Friday. He presented a lot of information, and though I understood it all as he was talking, it was a lot to take in and I asked for a written copy of his report so I could mull over it on my own. There were lots of different areas tested (nonverbal intelligence, audio comprehension, reading comprehension, concentration, memory, etc), and I'll sum it up by saying that she did somewhat well on some of the areas and very poorly on a lot more areas. However, I'm trying not to freak out about this, and to "take it with a grain of salt" as my own neuropsychologist told me at my appointment this evening...this testing is one snapshot of one moment in time at a very early point in mom's recovery, and is used as a sort of baseline from which she can progress. Even in his report, Dr. Ericson said he sees room for improvement, and that he recommends this testing be repeated in several months to be able to measure progress. Sigh.
Pam and I arrived right after lunch to hang out with mom, and she was of course very happy to see us, as usual. When we asked her about lunch, she said it wasn't that great, so we gave her a banana to eat, and she did (although with some protesting toward the end). Then it was time for physical therapy with Joe...it started out great and just fine, but toward the end of the session, she was getting really tired, and we were on the stairs just coming back down, and she cried out and grimaced in pain and sat down on the stair. Her right arm was hurting, she said, and we all noticed she was holding it in a protective position and wasn't really using it. She wouldn't hold onto the railing with that hand, and needed much more help than usual to get down the stairs because her right leg was weaker too. I had sort of noticed this over the weekend (in hind sight), but watched it carefully and she never completely stopped using it, so I wasn't thinking much of it. The doctor came and did an exam, and then one of the other docs came and checked her out, too...they didn't seem TOO concerned because she was complaining of pain in addition to the weakness, and the rest of her neuro exam (pupils, facial muscles, reflexes, etc) was normal. Just in case, they ordered a stat head CT scan, and so we went over on a field trip to Northwestern Memorial (through the underground tunnel) for that. Mom was kind of scared and freaking out since everyone was crowded around her and evaluating her and she could tell we thought something was wrong. She was really nervous going over for the head CT, and it was hard to tell whether she thought she was going for her surgery or something worse or what. Pam and I were both able to go with her, and we tried to keep her spirits up and reassure her. It didn't take long, and once she realized it was no big deal, she was back to her hilarious, joking self.
After all that, I asked her how her arm was feeling while we were waiting for her to be transported back to RIC, and asked her to squeeze my hand and make a fist and wiggle her fingers, and she could do it all just fine! We joked to her that she was being a faker...hopefully this was not the case just to get a rise out of everyone, but she seemed genuinely scared and concerned as well! The head CT scan came back totally fine, and the doctor came in to reexamine her and saw that she was better...they think it may be a musculoskeletal issue in her shoulder (rotator cuff...frozen shoulder?) exacerbated by fatigue or something, so will continue to check her out. But she seemed better. What a drama queen. :)
I had to leave while mom was still eating dinner to get to my psych appointment, but Pam stayed with her and said as soon as I left, she started eating her mac and cheese like it was the best thing she's ever tasted...but she wouldn't eat it while I was there...what a nut! I'm happy as long as she eats at all, but I hope my presence is not for some reason a hindrance to her doing so...if so, I'll stay away! Still didn't want to eat her veggies, though, naughty woman.
My appointment was great as usual, I came out feeling a lot better than when I went in...she's good at talking me down, and making me feel better about myself....we're beginning now to work through some bigger issues, like guilt. Ah guilt...it's the albatross around my neck right now, but I'm going to work on it...she tells me I need to start doing things for myself regularly, so I guess I'll need to try hard at that one...I know, I know, I can't take care of mom if I don't take care of myself...easier said than done, though.
When I returned, mom and Pam were just hanging out in the room watching TV, and a few minutes later, someone popped their head in the room to ask if we'd like carollers to come and sing for us...we said OF COURSE!! So a few minutes later, about 15 men and women dressed up in old-fashioned costumes (very festive) filed into mom's room and asked if we had any requests. I know mom's favorite carol is "Silent Night," and said as much. They sang it absolutely beautifully, all a cappella, and we LOVED it...mom and I both had tears streaming down...I mostly because I knew how much mom was loving it, and out of all this crap that has happened to us, I want to make sure she has things that bring her joy in her life. And this brought her joy, it was plain on her face...she even sang along partway. I wished they could have stayed to sing more, they were wonderful and I know mom would have simply adored a little personal concert, especially so she could stare at all the constumed singers. But we didn't want to monopolize them when other patients might enjoy them as well. Needless to say, I was so grateful to this organization for doing this...you never know how your volunteer work affects the patients, and it meant so much to mom and I.
Shortly after the beautiful song, Pam and I said goodnight to mom, who was in high spirits following the music. Pam and Jillian plan to stop for a visit tomorrow as I have to work, which will be nice and mom is looking forward to it. Pam and I went to dinner at a Cuban restaurant, and now I'm going to bed. So, an eventful day to be sure, but I think I handled it with less anxiety and annoying freakishness than I could have...ask Pam for a definitive answer on that one since she had to deal with me mostly. I was surprisingly calm and collected...almost asked myself who I was...and no, no medications were involved. Maybe I really am getting the hang of this whole thing...almost. Almost. Peace and love to all, keep praying and loving.
Comments
Glad to hear the CT was normal. Sounds like she gave you a good scare. How wonderful it was that the carolers came to you and Bev! Just what you both needed to brighten your spirits. Good luck with what is to come in the next week. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Julie M