The vigil continued
Hi Friends,
Well, today was not unlike yesterday in most of our activities, or lack thereof. Arrived in the room to find mom gone, and her bed made up...like in a movie when someone has died and they've already cleaned the room. We investigated at the desk, where the secretary told us she was off having a test done...further investigation led us to her nurse, who told us she was getting a CT scan done, and when we asked why, she led us to believe it was a routine thing Dr. Kranzler had ordered to make sure things were looking okay (we of course missed him this morning after waiting all day for him yesterday) after he took out the JP drain. I'm still not entirely reassured that they're not doing the scan to check for something that isn't going right, but I couldn't get a clear answer out of anyone and of course Kranzler was gone by the time we arrived, around 10am.
When they brought mom back into the room, we found out the scan had been unsuccessfull because everytime they tried to lie mom flat, she would throw up and therefore was unable to be still enough for the test to be performed. The culprit was the 2mg of Morphine they'd given her for pain earlier when the drain was pulled...she does NOT do well with any narcotics, and I feel guilty because I should have told them this ahead of time. But when she was in ICU she had a morphine drip, and at RIC she frequently got Tylenol with codeine, so I thought maybe the injury had made her more tolerant, so I wasn't on top of it as much as I should have been. She felt the effects of that damn morphine ALL day long, throwing up and nauseous and not eating or drinking despite a couple doses of Zofran (an antiemetic). Poor Bev, I'm so sorry!
She slept on and off all afternoon...I got a couple bites of jello and a few sips of juice into her, but then she started feeling sick again...only threw up once, though. They gave her more Zofran about a half hour before her 2nd attempt at a CT scan, which also failed miserabley for the same reason. Ugh...so now we were still awaiting those damn CT results (they'll now wait til tomorrow) to be sure there's nothing going wrong in there. So far no fever has spiked...as my cousin Winsome with her background in Chinese Medicine suggested, a higher body temperature can just mean an imbalance in the body but not necessarily infection. So we'll keep an eye on it...I really think that morphine threw a monkey in the wrench in terms of getting a clearer picture of how she's really doing in her recovery...she was not out of bed at all today as we'd hoped, and she wouldn't drink or eat much of anything. We did finally get her restarted on her Lexapro and Buspar (for depression and anxiety), which should hopefully help with the mood component, and motivate her to get moving...she choked it down mixed with some applesauce, and managed to keep it down.
They had to restart her IV tonight, because the one she had stopped working and became very painful (I'm thinking some phlebitis)...they had to stick her three more times to get it in...I can't tell you how tempted I was to just do it myself...they were using a 22 guage, whereas I'm used to using 16 guages, so it would have probably been a breeze...but I tried not to be "that family member." But of course that traumatized her too, and then she was exhausted again. Only got to hear her voice a few choice times today, and I worked really hard to get some smiles out of her. I made sure they wouldn't give her anymore of those pain meds, Tylenol only...she's not having much pain anyway, so no need for something stronger.
We made her promise she'd be feeling better tomorrow and that she'd be getting out of bed and moving again...that she'd feel much better if she did. Plus, she's really starting to get irritated by the SCDs (sequential compression devices...they are boots on the calves that squeeze and massage to keep the blood from pooling and forming clots) and the only way to get those off is to start walking around again. They were at least able to discontinue the oxygen per nasal cannula...that thing was really bothering her, too. Her O2 saturations have remained stable on room air, so that's good. As soon as she starts eating and drinking, they'll be able to take out the IV too, so that's another goal.
I expect tomorrow they'll be wanting to transfer her to the skilled nursing floor (3 floors down) as long as there is a bed available...but I have been assured that if there isn't one available right away, she will not be booted out on the street, so that's comforting. ;) I am going to try to go to work for a bit in the morning since it is Leadership day, and at 12:30 is the leadership holiday party, so if necessary I can skip out early from that depending on what's going on with all mom's stuff. Betty will be there, and I am confident she can handle most of what would need to be done...for those things they may need her legal guardian for, I am just a phone call away. Lilly may be there as well, so she'll have some family support for the transition, if it even happens before I am done for the day. Que seras seras...whatever will be will be. If only that was something I could really hold on to as a mantra, I'd be in good shape.
I hate this one step forward, 10 steps back part...it was to be expected, but still hard to deal with and frustrating as hell...we need to get her back on track, and I'm not sure how to begin when things to be a viscious cycle...she's nauseous, she doesn't want to move, she doesn't move she's more nauseuos, anti-nausea meds make her sleepy, then she doesn't want to move. What is one to do??? The nurses are nice, but don't usually have the time or a clue...I want RIC back. Have I mentioned that? I feel that her entire plan of care and rehab will be carried out by me because no one knows her here, and don't seem to be too keen on reading the notes from the wonders from RIC to get to know her. It's easier to ask me, but I don't have all the facts. Oy.
As every woman has always said, if you want something done right you've got to do it yourself. This is an overwhelming prospect...I am not confident to let it just go the way it will, but that could become its' own full time job. What do I do??? She needs her rehab continued, there is no doubt of that...and she still needs it to be regular and intense...I'm going to have to get second and third careers in speech/language pathology and occupational therapy...I'll leave PT for someone else. My worst fear is that it will not continue with any intensity at all, she'll be allowed to refuse it, and she'll settle into being taken care of instead of fighting to take care of herself. This is NOT the Bev I know...she's somewhere in there still, anxious about coming out, or knocked back and not quite up again. That would be unacceptable to me, because I see her potential to come so much farther with the right therapy and encouragement.
Come on, Bev...get off your ass and let's get going...you can do it, you have before, so don't quit on us now. There's much to be done. I still need you. Please, send your toughest love to her now, and of course prayers. We need upbeat, and we need motivation....both of us. Peace to all.
Well, today was not unlike yesterday in most of our activities, or lack thereof. Arrived in the room to find mom gone, and her bed made up...like in a movie when someone has died and they've already cleaned the room. We investigated at the desk, where the secretary told us she was off having a test done...further investigation led us to her nurse, who told us she was getting a CT scan done, and when we asked why, she led us to believe it was a routine thing Dr. Kranzler had ordered to make sure things were looking okay (we of course missed him this morning after waiting all day for him yesterday) after he took out the JP drain. I'm still not entirely reassured that they're not doing the scan to check for something that isn't going right, but I couldn't get a clear answer out of anyone and of course Kranzler was gone by the time we arrived, around 10am.
When they brought mom back into the room, we found out the scan had been unsuccessfull because everytime they tried to lie mom flat, she would throw up and therefore was unable to be still enough for the test to be performed. The culprit was the 2mg of Morphine they'd given her for pain earlier when the drain was pulled...she does NOT do well with any narcotics, and I feel guilty because I should have told them this ahead of time. But when she was in ICU she had a morphine drip, and at RIC she frequently got Tylenol with codeine, so I thought maybe the injury had made her more tolerant, so I wasn't on top of it as much as I should have been. She felt the effects of that damn morphine ALL day long, throwing up and nauseous and not eating or drinking despite a couple doses of Zofran (an antiemetic). Poor Bev, I'm so sorry!
She slept on and off all afternoon...I got a couple bites of jello and a few sips of juice into her, but then she started feeling sick again...only threw up once, though. They gave her more Zofran about a half hour before her 2nd attempt at a CT scan, which also failed miserabley for the same reason. Ugh...so now we were still awaiting those damn CT results (they'll now wait til tomorrow) to be sure there's nothing going wrong in there. So far no fever has spiked...as my cousin Winsome with her background in Chinese Medicine suggested, a higher body temperature can just mean an imbalance in the body but not necessarily infection. So we'll keep an eye on it...I really think that morphine threw a monkey in the wrench in terms of getting a clearer picture of how she's really doing in her recovery...she was not out of bed at all today as we'd hoped, and she wouldn't drink or eat much of anything. We did finally get her restarted on her Lexapro and Buspar (for depression and anxiety), which should hopefully help with the mood component, and motivate her to get moving...she choked it down mixed with some applesauce, and managed to keep it down.
They had to restart her IV tonight, because the one she had stopped working and became very painful (I'm thinking some phlebitis)...they had to stick her three more times to get it in...I can't tell you how tempted I was to just do it myself...they were using a 22 guage, whereas I'm used to using 16 guages, so it would have probably been a breeze...but I tried not to be "that family member." But of course that traumatized her too, and then she was exhausted again. Only got to hear her voice a few choice times today, and I worked really hard to get some smiles out of her. I made sure they wouldn't give her anymore of those pain meds, Tylenol only...she's not having much pain anyway, so no need for something stronger.
We made her promise she'd be feeling better tomorrow and that she'd be getting out of bed and moving again...that she'd feel much better if she did. Plus, she's really starting to get irritated by the SCDs (sequential compression devices...they are boots on the calves that squeeze and massage to keep the blood from pooling and forming clots) and the only way to get those off is to start walking around again. They were at least able to discontinue the oxygen per nasal cannula...that thing was really bothering her, too. Her O2 saturations have remained stable on room air, so that's good. As soon as she starts eating and drinking, they'll be able to take out the IV too, so that's another goal.
I expect tomorrow they'll be wanting to transfer her to the skilled nursing floor (3 floors down) as long as there is a bed available...but I have been assured that if there isn't one available right away, she will not be booted out on the street, so that's comforting. ;) I am going to try to go to work for a bit in the morning since it is Leadership day, and at 12:30 is the leadership holiday party, so if necessary I can skip out early from that depending on what's going on with all mom's stuff. Betty will be there, and I am confident she can handle most of what would need to be done...for those things they may need her legal guardian for, I am just a phone call away. Lilly may be there as well, so she'll have some family support for the transition, if it even happens before I am done for the day. Que seras seras...whatever will be will be. If only that was something I could really hold on to as a mantra, I'd be in good shape.
I hate this one step forward, 10 steps back part...it was to be expected, but still hard to deal with and frustrating as hell...we need to get her back on track, and I'm not sure how to begin when things to be a viscious cycle...she's nauseous, she doesn't want to move, she doesn't move she's more nauseuos, anti-nausea meds make her sleepy, then she doesn't want to move. What is one to do??? The nurses are nice, but don't usually have the time or a clue...I want RIC back. Have I mentioned that? I feel that her entire plan of care and rehab will be carried out by me because no one knows her here, and don't seem to be too keen on reading the notes from the wonders from RIC to get to know her. It's easier to ask me, but I don't have all the facts. Oy.
As every woman has always said, if you want something done right you've got to do it yourself. This is an overwhelming prospect...I am not confident to let it just go the way it will, but that could become its' own full time job. What do I do??? She needs her rehab continued, there is no doubt of that...and she still needs it to be regular and intense...I'm going to have to get second and third careers in speech/language pathology and occupational therapy...I'll leave PT for someone else. My worst fear is that it will not continue with any intensity at all, she'll be allowed to refuse it, and she'll settle into being taken care of instead of fighting to take care of herself. This is NOT the Bev I know...she's somewhere in there still, anxious about coming out, or knocked back and not quite up again. That would be unacceptable to me, because I see her potential to come so much farther with the right therapy and encouragement.
Come on, Bev...get off your ass and let's get going...you can do it, you have before, so don't quit on us now. There's much to be done. I still need you. Please, send your toughest love to her now, and of course prayers. We need upbeat, and we need motivation....both of us. Peace to all.
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