No mud today
Hi friends,
First of all, before I tell you anything about my day, I need to commend all of you for your fierce love and support. I truly have no words to describe how much love I feel coming in from all sides...my heart is literally full to bursting, and I absolutely cannot imagine going through this without a single one of you. I really don't even know what to say...I am speechless and overwhelmed every single day. I knew I had some great friends, but I did not nor could not imagine the depths of your love. You are all such amazing people - truly, each and every one of you. I feel completely surrounded by hope and love, and it gets me through each day so that I can be strong for the next. I don't know how to thank you all, but I'll figure out a way. Trust me. ;)
Okay, now for the update. Mom had a great day today overall, and I ended my day saying a toast of thanks with Jillian and Nikki to her continued progress and strength. This morning was a hard one for me, but not in the way you might think. Instead of hearing more discouraging news about some piece of her health or recovery, it was actually the good news of her continued progress which made me weep. I met with the Social Worker today to start talking about where mom may go to when she no longer needs to be in the ICU! Yes, this is in fact in sight, and we're talking a week or so from now most likely! This sounds, and is, wonderful, but the thought of her not being so closely monitored and in such close proximity to such excellent nursing care and doctors terrifies me. Since I am not familiar with any of the facilities which are a possibility at this point, sending her somewhere new and unknown is unfathomable. It all depends on her insurance (I hate how that is a consideration) and her status at the time of discharge. No decisions have been made yet, but it's coming, and I'm really scared about that. But the seed is planted, the discussion has been initiated, and I need time to adjust to that just as anything else in this process. And then Elvia and Monica brought me lunch, I visited with Stef M, and my busy little bee mover gals (bless their hearts) came to the rescue once again. The ever-present support system saved the morning from going down the tubes in tears.
As for mom herself, she has made great strides even since yesterday. When I arrived at her bedside this morning, her chest tube had been removed! As I stood there, the trauma doctors came in and with one push of a button, turned the ventilator to a setting which allows her to do all her breathing on her own but applies CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure - basically, the ventilator blows a certain amount of air continuously through the trach to essentially "splint" the airway open). This means she's essentially doing all her breathing by herself!! They are keeping the ventilator set this way as long as she will tolerate it (if she tires out and her oxygen saturations start to decrease, they will set the vent back to giving her some mechanical breaths), and so far she's doing great! This is the first step in weaning off the vent altogether!
The cultures they did of the CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) did not grow anything, which means that so far whatever infectious process she has going on is NOT in her brain (at least not for now)! This is also excellent news! There are other cultures pending (blood, urine, sputum) so hopefully within the next day or so they'll be able to pinpoint the cause, although her fever has since gone down and not come back! And Lilly was able to come by briefly on a dinner break, which was good for all three of us. Yay!
They finally got her down for her MRI today, and they "cleared" her neck, so were able to take the cervical collar off!!! She is becoming freer from "stuff" everyday! She looks so much more comfortable with that thing off, let me tell you. They also turned off her Versed (the medication they were using to sedate her), so she just has her Morphine drip going. That means today she was much more alert and aware of things, and moved her arm and wrist and fingers a lot more, opened her eyes more, reacted to irritations (like suctioning) a lot more, and seemed almost to try to look over at me when I gave her kisses on the cheek! The man came and fitted her for her helmet (yes, she will have to wear a helmet to protect her "soft spot" on her head where there is no skull bone - I've decided we need to decorate it big time), and she got some cool boots to wear to prevent her ankles from becoming too stiff. The only things that weren't entirely positive about today were that she is receiving two more units of blood (her hemoglobin dropped a bit, not to a dangerously low level but enough to want to replace it, and most likely again due to the frequent blood draws), and they must once again replace her arterial line...this time not because it has stopped working, but because the femoral artery is a big one and they don't like to leave a line there unless absolutely necessary in case of complications (clots, etc.). So this means more pokes for mom, but I know she can handle it with the grace and strength with which she has handled everything else thus far.
I'm so proud of her, she's making leaps and bounds where I've only been wanting baby steps. I certainly know not to expect everyday to be this good, and I know there will be more waves in the future. But I'm taking this day for what is, trying not to feel too guilty about feeling so happy and thankful, and embracing the good. Today was a good day, and I cannot ask for anything more at this point. As I said, my heart is full, thanks in large part to all of you. Keep up the good work. I love you.
First of all, before I tell you anything about my day, I need to commend all of you for your fierce love and support. I truly have no words to describe how much love I feel coming in from all sides...my heart is literally full to bursting, and I absolutely cannot imagine going through this without a single one of you. I really don't even know what to say...I am speechless and overwhelmed every single day. I knew I had some great friends, but I did not nor could not imagine the depths of your love. You are all such amazing people - truly, each and every one of you. I feel completely surrounded by hope and love, and it gets me through each day so that I can be strong for the next. I don't know how to thank you all, but I'll figure out a way. Trust me. ;)
Okay, now for the update. Mom had a great day today overall, and I ended my day saying a toast of thanks with Jillian and Nikki to her continued progress and strength. This morning was a hard one for me, but not in the way you might think. Instead of hearing more discouraging news about some piece of her health or recovery, it was actually the good news of her continued progress which made me weep. I met with the Social Worker today to start talking about where mom may go to when she no longer needs to be in the ICU! Yes, this is in fact in sight, and we're talking a week or so from now most likely! This sounds, and is, wonderful, but the thought of her not being so closely monitored and in such close proximity to such excellent nursing care and doctors terrifies me. Since I am not familiar with any of the facilities which are a possibility at this point, sending her somewhere new and unknown is unfathomable. It all depends on her insurance (I hate how that is a consideration) and her status at the time of discharge. No decisions have been made yet, but it's coming, and I'm really scared about that. But the seed is planted, the discussion has been initiated, and I need time to adjust to that just as anything else in this process. And then Elvia and Monica brought me lunch, I visited with Stef M, and my busy little bee mover gals (bless their hearts) came to the rescue once again. The ever-present support system saved the morning from going down the tubes in tears.
As for mom herself, she has made great strides even since yesterday. When I arrived at her bedside this morning, her chest tube had been removed! As I stood there, the trauma doctors came in and with one push of a button, turned the ventilator to a setting which allows her to do all her breathing on her own but applies CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure - basically, the ventilator blows a certain amount of air continuously through the trach to essentially "splint" the airway open). This means she's essentially doing all her breathing by herself!! They are keeping the ventilator set this way as long as she will tolerate it (if she tires out and her oxygen saturations start to decrease, they will set the vent back to giving her some mechanical breaths), and so far she's doing great! This is the first step in weaning off the vent altogether!
The cultures they did of the CSF (cerebrospinal fluid) did not grow anything, which means that so far whatever infectious process she has going on is NOT in her brain (at least not for now)! This is also excellent news! There are other cultures pending (blood, urine, sputum) so hopefully within the next day or so they'll be able to pinpoint the cause, although her fever has since gone down and not come back! And Lilly was able to come by briefly on a dinner break, which was good for all three of us. Yay!
They finally got her down for her MRI today, and they "cleared" her neck, so were able to take the cervical collar off!!! She is becoming freer from "stuff" everyday! She looks so much more comfortable with that thing off, let me tell you. They also turned off her Versed (the medication they were using to sedate her), so she just has her Morphine drip going. That means today she was much more alert and aware of things, and moved her arm and wrist and fingers a lot more, opened her eyes more, reacted to irritations (like suctioning) a lot more, and seemed almost to try to look over at me when I gave her kisses on the cheek! The man came and fitted her for her helmet (yes, she will have to wear a helmet to protect her "soft spot" on her head where there is no skull bone - I've decided we need to decorate it big time), and she got some cool boots to wear to prevent her ankles from becoming too stiff. The only things that weren't entirely positive about today were that she is receiving two more units of blood (her hemoglobin dropped a bit, not to a dangerously low level but enough to want to replace it, and most likely again due to the frequent blood draws), and they must once again replace her arterial line...this time not because it has stopped working, but because the femoral artery is a big one and they don't like to leave a line there unless absolutely necessary in case of complications (clots, etc.). So this means more pokes for mom, but I know she can handle it with the grace and strength with which she has handled everything else thus far.
I'm so proud of her, she's making leaps and bounds where I've only been wanting baby steps. I certainly know not to expect everyday to be this good, and I know there will be more waves in the future. But I'm taking this day for what is, trying not to feel too guilty about feeling so happy and thankful, and embracing the good. Today was a good day, and I cannot ask for anything more at this point. As I said, my heart is full, thanks in large part to all of you. Keep up the good work. I love you.
Comments
Thank you Amanda's friends and all those sharing their concern..........
love, kara